Posts for marriage

When My Daughter Sees Gay Marriage

Love Wins - Allison Kenny - June 14, 2017

When my daughter sees gay marriage

She sees two parents

Kiss every morning

Every night

And really anytime we see each other

Then begs for kisses herself

 

She sees us pay our bills together

Make dinner together

Run our business together

Sing made-up song and laugh about nothing

She sees us go on dates, every week or month

 

She sees us talk it out

When I get triggered

By Lynn’s sarcasm

or she gets frustrated

By how controlling I can be

 

She sees us ask one another for what we need

Set boundaries

Choose self-care

Most of all, she sees how in love two people can be

After 15 years

 

How we put our marriage

First

Before even her needs

Because first, we had each other

Because we want to show her what

Healthy relationships look like

 

When my daughter sees gay marriage,

She sees our marriage

She sees

Love, stability, respect

She sees happy

 

She sees everything

She deserves

 

 

 

 

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10th Anniversary

Love Wins - Allison Kenny - June 25, 2016

Ten years ago today

Our nieces & nephews sang

L is for the way you

Look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very very extraordinary

E is even more than anyone that you adore

 

Ten years ago today

We promised to be ourselves and

Love each other

At the same time

To strive for

Interdependence

 

We danced on Pride Sunday

We ate BBQ in retro dresses

We produced our wedding TA-DAH  in the

Women’s Building

With so much help from family & friends

We flew to France and took centerstage

Before finding respite in each other’s arms

In that heat wave

20160625_154120

 

Ten years ago today

We didn’t know what was coming

The cervical cancer

Or memories of early abuse

The way our business would grow

Or who our daughter would be

 

We didn’t know

That gay marriage would become legal

Or that Black and Queer sanctuaries would get

Shot up

And how we’d all grieve

Our sense of safety

Shattered

Our connection

Deeper

 

Ten years ago today

We didn’t know that

Our marriage would be a sturdy

Tether

As the ground shook beneath us

 

We didn’t know how many divorces

We’d see around us

We didn’t know how deep and wide

Our love could

Stretch

 

That our roots would intertwine

Like a redwood grove

How we’d hold each other

Up

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How we’d make each other laugh

How we’d uphold those promises

Those vows

How our words would come alive

In action

How we’d make

LOVE

A verb.

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A love letter to my wife on our 13th Valentine’s Day

Gay Parenting, Parenting - Lynn Johnson - February 14, 2015

Al on the Love Bench

Dear Allison,

Who knew 13 years ago that we would be here today?  Doing this.  Making our lives together.  Making a business together.  Making a family together.

Who am I kidding?  I knew.  You knew.  We knew from the very beginning, didn’t we?  We knew from the first time we sipped the rum punch happy hour special on Haight Street together.  We knew from the first time we experienced the awesomeness of the Dyke March together.  We knew from the first time we shared a dressing room in the outlet mall together.  We were young and didn’t know much.  But, we knew.

We knew from that first time I looked you in the eye and said “I think we should raise kids together.”  Even though we weren’t even dating yet.  Even though it made absolutely no sense.

I knew that you would be the kind of mother who gives her heart to her kids without giving away her sanity.

The kind of mother who fights fiercely advocating for her kids while also giving them the tools to fight for themselves.

The kind of mother who can play dollhouse, host a dance party in the kitchen, and belt out made up songs at the top of her lungs and then clearly and perfectly articulate the rules and boundaries in a way that transforms a screaming child into a “Yes Mommy” child in the blink of an eye.

13 years ago, I knew you would be that kind of mother and today, you are that kind of mother.  A mother full of passion and strength and compassion and resilience.  A mother who has won the heart of our little girl.

I know a lot more now than I knew 13 years ago.  Sure, I don’t always have the right answer but I do pride myself on my wisdom, my intuition.  I have never and will never be more proud than that day I looked you in the eye and said “I think we should raise kids together.”

Wow.  I really got that one right.

Love,
Lynn

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