Posts for San Francisco

Proud Family

Gay Parenting, Love Wins, Parenting - Allison Kenny - June 26, 2016

How are you celebrating Pride with your family today? We’re keeping in simple- watching the SF parade on tv, dinner with fabulous gay friends and their kid, rainbow gear and THIS BOOK. Right now, Squirrel tells her friends “Pride is celebrating families with 2 moms or 2 dads.” Hoping to dig into this LGBTQ book list this month and round out her answer a little more.

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Can’t help feeling like in the wake of such hate in the Orlando shooting, being ourselves as a queer family is a radical act. Here’s to being loud, proud and queer this June.

One more thing we did as part of Pride- donated to Equality Orlando. Love to hear what actions you are taking to heal your hearts, take care and offer hope…

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We’re Going on a Date Tonight!

Foster/Adoption, Gay Parenting, Parenting, Play Time - Lynn Johnson - April 24, 2015

date night

From our last romantic date night at À Côté in Oakland.

You may remember Allison’s post about self-care where she described the amazing spreadsheet of gifts we have received from our friends and family in loving support of our becoming new moms.  We’re coming to the end of these gifts now (boo hoo) and tonight, we get to take cash in one of the biggys.

One night away in a fancy San Francisco hotel.  No Squirrel.  No dogs.  Just us.  A lot of romance.

I’m not even sure why I have chosen to write about this in a blog post.  Maybe I need to share how friggin excited I am.  We have been counting down to this day for weeks like it’s Christmas and we just know that Santa is going to bring us everything on our list.  Maybe I want to publicly share how grateful I am for our besties, Doug and Johnny, for giving us this incredible gift.  Maybe I just want to show off a little.  Rub it in the face of all the rest of you who will be at home with your kids on a regular old Friday night eating boxed mac and cheese and waiting for them to go to bed so that you can catch last night’s episode of Scandal (which I haven’t seen yet…#nospoilers).

I think the real reason I want to mark this occasion with a blog post is because I want to highlight how important this big fancy date night is in the fuller context of our parenting journey.  I love when people ask me “How are you and Allison doing?” when they curiously inquire how my life is these days.  I love this question because I never want to forget how and why I first fell in love with Allison in the first place.  I never want to forget the 13 years we had before the Squirrel came along when we could take off on romantic dates whenever we wanted.  I never want to forget the strength of our couplehood – how we have successfully navigated being best friends and lovers and business partners – and how this strength is what is helping turn us into good (enough) parents.

The answer to “How are you and Allison doing?” is “Great!” because we are making time for nights like tonight.  And when we can’t go to big fancy hotels overnight, we make dates whenever we can.  Over the last few months, we have discovered:

The “Friday Night Happy Hour” where we have a babysitter come from 5-8, we grab an early dinner, and are home in time to put her to bed ourselves.  This results in less drama and headache for everyone involved.

The “Porch Date” where the Squirrel is just inside on the living room couch watching TV and we slip out on the porch with our cocktails and connect for as long as takes for My Little Pony to wrap up their weird little adventures.

The “Walk Date” takes advantage of the fact that we have to walk these dogs anyway so, we may as well make it count for something.

And, my favorite, The “Working Date.”  This is one that is unique to our situation since we work for ourselves, together, from home.  This is one where we say, “we need to have a meeting about such and such” and, instead of simply sitting down at our dining room table, we serve mimosas and make it into a big thing.  This one doesn’t happen very often because it is not the most productive way to get things done but, you know, life doesn’t always have to be about productivity.

As the Squirrel ages and we get more and more enmeshed in this parenting thing, I want to make sure that the answer to “How are you and Allison doing?” is always “Great!”  Prioritizing our partnership is the only way to make it through this crazy life we have chosen.  So, I’m going to pack my bags, pick out a super sexy outfit and get ready for tonight’s mega date.

Goodnight Squirrel.  Love ya.  See you tomorrow!

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A love letter to my wife on our 13th Valentine’s Day

Gay Parenting, Parenting - Lynn Johnson - February 14, 2015

Al on the Love Bench

Dear Allison,

Who knew 13 years ago that we would be here today?  Doing this.  Making our lives together.  Making a business together.  Making a family together.

Who am I kidding?  I knew.  You knew.  We knew from the very beginning, didn’t we?  We knew from the first time we sipped the rum punch happy hour special on Haight Street together.  We knew from the first time we experienced the awesomeness of the Dyke March together.  We knew from the first time we shared a dressing room in the outlet mall together.  We were young and didn’t know much.  But, we knew.

We knew from that first time I looked you in the eye and said “I think we should raise kids together.”  Even though we weren’t even dating yet.  Even though it made absolutely no sense.

I knew that you would be the kind of mother who gives her heart to her kids without giving away her sanity.

The kind of mother who fights fiercely advocating for her kids while also giving them the tools to fight for themselves.

The kind of mother who can play dollhouse, host a dance party in the kitchen, and belt out made up songs at the top of her lungs and then clearly and perfectly articulate the rules and boundaries in a way that transforms a screaming child into a “Yes Mommy” child in the blink of an eye.

13 years ago, I knew you would be that kind of mother and today, you are that kind of mother.  A mother full of passion and strength and compassion and resilience.  A mother who has won the heart of our little girl.

I know a lot more now than I knew 13 years ago.  Sure, I don’t always have the right answer but I do pride myself on my wisdom, my intuition.  I have never and will never be more proud than that day I looked you in the eye and said “I think we should raise kids together.”

Wow.  I really got that one right.

Love,
Lynn

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