From our last romantic date night at À Côté in Oakland.
You may remember Allison’s post about self-care where she described the amazing spreadsheet of gifts we have received from our friends and family in loving support of our becoming new moms. We’re coming to the end of these gifts now (boo hoo) and tonight, we get to take cash in one of the biggys.
One night away in a fancy San Francisco hotel. No Squirrel. No dogs. Just us. A lot of romance.
I’m not even sure why I have chosen to write about this in a blog post. Maybe I need to share how friggin excited I am. We have been counting down to this day for weeks like it’s Christmas and we just know that Santa is going to bring us everything on our list. Maybe I want to publicly share how grateful I am for our besties, Doug and Johnny, for giving us this incredible gift. Maybe I just want to show off a little. Rub it in the face of all the rest of you who will be at home with your kids on a regular old Friday night eating boxed mac and cheese and waiting for them to go to bed so that you can catch last night’s episode of Scandal (which I haven’t seen yet…#nospoilers).
I think the real reason I want to mark this occasion with a blog post is because I want to highlight how important this big fancy date night is in the fuller context of our parenting journey. I love when people ask me “How are you and Allison doing?” when they curiously inquire how my life is these days. I love this question because I never want to forget how and why I first fell in love with Allison in the first place. I never want to forget the 13 years we had before the Squirrel came along when we could take off on romantic dates whenever we wanted. I never want to forget the strength of our couplehood – how we have successfully navigated being best friends and lovers and business partners – and how this strength is what is helping turn us into good (enough) parents.
The answer to “How are you and Allison doing?” is “Great!” because we are making time for nights like tonight. And when we can’t go to big fancy hotels overnight, we make dates whenever we can. Over the last few months, we have discovered:
The “Friday Night Happy Hour” where we have a babysitter come from 5-8, we grab an early dinner, and are home in time to put her to bed ourselves. This results in less drama and headache for everyone involved.
The “Porch Date” where the Squirrel is just inside on the living room couch watching TV and we slip out on the porch with our cocktails and connect for as long as takes for My Little Pony to wrap up their weird little adventures.
The “Walk Date” takes advantage of the fact that we have to walk these dogs anyway so, we may as well make it count for something.
And, my favorite, The “Working Date.” This is one that is unique to our situation since we work for ourselves, together, from home. This is one where we say, “we need to have a meeting about such and such” and, instead of simply sitting down at our dining room table, we serve mimosas and make it into a big thing. This one doesn’t happen very often because it is not the most productive way to get things done but, you know, life doesn’t always have to be about productivity.
As the Squirrel ages and we get more and more enmeshed in this parenting thing, I want to make sure that the answer to “How are you and Allison doing?” is always “Great!” Prioritizing our partnership is the only way to make it through this crazy life we have chosen. So, I’m going to pack my bags, pick out a super sexy outfit and get ready for tonight’s mega date.
Goodnight Squirrel. Love ya. See you tomorrow!